Consider this a public service announcement: Ashlie Elizabeth Stitt and Reed Parkinson have called off their wedding. Yes. I am single. And more importantly...yes! I am okay!!
Okay...let me back up a bit...
For those of you who were unaware, I have been involved with a man named Reed Parkinson for about a year and a half. We have been "informally engaged" to one degree or another for...many months...and made it official- ring and all this past December. A few days ago, Reed and I made a mutual and joint decision that we would no longer be getting married.
That is an excellent question. The best that I can tell you is this: It just wasn't right. We love each other very, very much....we have a ton of respect for each other...it just wasn't quite right. We could really easily try and bring it down to all ONE, CRUCIAL, flaw, move, characteristic, event....etc...but the bottom line is, this isn't a fable or a cautionary tale- there is no simple answer. Something was missing, and we could both feel it. It broke both of our hearts, but we're very confident that we did the right thing.
As soon as we broke up, it was like this HUGE wall came crashing down. We could talk again. We could communicate and be there for each other in a way we hadn't been able to for a long time. I found myself thinking...."I remember this!!! This was awesome!!!" While it seems a cruel irony that we break up and then our relationship gets great, it was a great affirmation that we had done the right thing. We spend the next few days spending almost every moment together, working things out, etc. There was no desperate attempt to say EVERYTHING you have to say RIGHT NOW...because...we're still talking.
My best friend:
Reed and I are now BEST friends. Odd? Maybe. Can we always talk as much as we currently are or be as involved as we are now? No. We can't. But for now, this works. We're close. And that feels sooo right.
So...who do we blame and who do we hate?
As tempting as it seems to be for us as humans to blame someone or be mad at someone, while I appreciate the notion of solidarity, there is no one to blame and there is no one to hate. In fact, someone hating Reed at this point would really hurt me. So as appreciated as the immediate comment "eeewww!! what a jerk!!!" before even hearing what happened is.....it's not necessary. Both of us said and did things we are not proud of. Both of us did our best. We tried really hard. We reacted, we made mistakes, we fought feelings that it wasn't right..and...it just didn't work out. It's all water under the bridge. Let's all move on.
So I'm single again. That thought is...to be honest...a little discouraging, but the confidence that I did the right thing helps a lot. There is something better in store for me and for Reed. We will both find something else that makes us so happy. Our Father in Heaven knows best, and we're willing to trust him. The support that I've gotten from so many already has been so wonderful. I greatly appreciate the love, the support, and the encouraging words I have received from so many of you. Thank you for your love. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends, family, and loved ones.